


And In the end, it Lead Me Back To You

by Superhero_Trash



Category: Carmen Sandiego (Cartoon 2019)
Genre: ??? - Freeform, Amnesia, Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Slow Burn, Some Swearing, Will add more tags as I go, kinda slow burn, no beta we die like men
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-06-24
Updated: 2020-03-08
Packaged: 2020-05-18 21:33:25
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 4,717
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19343071
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Superhero_Trash/pseuds/Superhero_Trash
Summary: Something about the life Gray woke up to after his accident didn't add up. It was too monotone, too planned, too grey.When he falls back into old habits, he takes the opportunity to hunt down the truth about what really happened to him. To know what went down with Carmen. What the connection between them is, and how he fits into a game he can't remember.He may almost die, but he's hoping it's worth it.





	1. Prologue

Gray’s mind appreciated the bitter sweetness of his name. Graham. Gray. Gray. Graham. It was as if the universe was teasing him, his name a constant reminder on the monotony of his life ever since he woke up in that hospitable bed 3 months ago, a year of memories missing from his life, and patchy memories of the year before that. He didn’t know who he became, who he was in the past year or so. He didn’t know who he was. But the name fit. So he went with it. 

He was Gray. 

He humorlessly rolled his eyes at himself. He wondered if his parents ever thought this would happen to him, knowing how well the name would suit him. But death doesn’t discriminate between the sinners and the saints, he supposes.

 

He woke to the lack of a shit show that was his life. Everything was ready, everything was too perfect, to prepared for his return. No frantic calls from friends or concerned text messages from anyone. He healed, and then thrown back into a work environment he didn’t even remember. The same schedule every day of every week, living in an average apartment. An average, run of the mill life. No friends, no social life. Just work, doctor appointments and a hole in his chest, a void that never seemed to fill no matter what he tried. The bare basics of a life he wanted to live. 

There was no real purpose, real motive to his life. He just got up, completed his day to day chores, went home and slept. 

As he paces down the street, he zips up his jacket to protect the wind and rain against his chest, he doesn’t bother lying to himself about his emotions. He’s confused. He’s lonely, and frankly, desperate. His blue hood goes on top of his head, as a foot steps in a puddle, his empty face rippling amongst the grey sky behind him. He smiles crookedly to himself, even the weather was grey. 

He wasn’t anxious, and he’s pretty sure he wasn’t depressed. The term was incorrect, much like a baby putting a heart shaped block in a square shape. He wasn’t depressed, but he was missing something. A gaping hole in his chest somehow, craving something he’s never experienced himself. Reminding himself of what he can’t remember. He pulls his hoodie on his head block out the rain.

His mind draws back to a question - Can you truly miss something you’ve never known?

The answer should be simple - can you truly miss something you’ve never known? But it’s not. Because he’s missing something. Something big, but he doesn’t know what. How do you find something if you don’t know what that something is. Gray's pretty sure the answer to that is simple. You can't. 

Or you have to get really, really lucky. 

He doesn't consider that a quality of his. 

He glances down at his watch and muses to himself. Today was different than his monotone life. Today, his work ran overtime. Which sucked- but extra pay was alright. 

A flash of lighting struck in the sky, and Gray’s head snapped up, eyes reflecting the striking phenomena. He smiled at the white streak in the sky after it left, because for a split second, seeing the lighting, he felt like himself again. Not worrying about what memories he lost, about who he lost, it was just him and the raw, uncontrolled electricity, feeling the thunder reverberate through the charged atmosphere surrounding him. It was like the whole earth came alive. 

It was only dark clouds in his eyesight, surrounding the hustling city. His muscles were tired, his mind was sore and his bag growing heavier by the minute. But the rain belted harder upon him, and he continued to walk faster home among it. His waterproof jacket putting up to the test when he can’t say the same about his socks.

Gray longingly looked at a bus passing by. Despite the overtime, didn’t actually get paid till a few more days, and he didn’t have enough to afford to put money on his bus pass. Can’t spend money you don’t have. So he walked. 

Across the road, a little coffee shop came into view in the distance, one he’d only been to once or twice. He checked his watch. 6:45pm. That meant the waitress’ shifts would be changing now. 

He paused in the middle of the walkway, staring at his watch, and then through the window of the shop, giving a clear view of the counter. Sure enough, he saw one of the waitress’ grab her bag and leave, a blonde bloke taking her place. His brows furrowed. How did he know when the shifts changed? He never asked any workers their in his brief conversations - did he? Was he a stalker now? No, that couldn’t be right. He only ever ordered. He did a double take of the waitress, her brown ponytail commonly worn in the city. But he knew he’d never seen her before. 

He shook his head at himself. Okay, his mind was going weird places they should not be going. He continued to walk home, and he noticed the waitress walking in a parallel direction to him across the road, if slightly ahead. He did a double take. This was his normal route home, he was not stalking her, even if he did know when the shift ended. No! No- he was not thinking about this, his mind was being ridiculous. Taking in stupid information again. Things no one else in their right mind would ever make note of. 

He focused on the sound of rain around him, hoping it would drown out his thoughts. To stop the spiral his mind would quickly form. It was then a scream was let out. 

“Hey!” 

Gray’s head snapped up, just in time to see a thief snatch the waitress’ bag. Her face was not one of fear, but anger, irritation and fierceness. Currently holding onto the shoulder strap, in a game of tug of war with the thief in black. 

“Fuck off!” 

Gray fought the urge to flinch, the sheer ferocity in her voice heard among the still belting rain. 

It was then the strap snapped at the seams, the motion toppling the lady over as the thief dashed across the road to Gray’s side, cars honking at him amongst the screeching tires.

Before even realising it, he was sprinting after the thief. His mind zoned in on the mugger’s turning head and surprised expression. A voice in his head laughed at the rookie mistake. Cocky and confident, the self-aware part of Grays brain washing the question of where it came from away, compartmentalizing. Prioritizing the situation at hand. 

Gray ran faster into the rain, gaining speed, artfully dodging the few pedestrians walking about, heads snapping at the chase scene happening. Gray kept running, advancing on the thief until he was nearly behind him. His eyes narrowed on the intersection barely 25 meters in front of him, the car headlights flashing by, an easy getaway. Lighting struck in the distance, the very thunder crackingling through his veins, making Gray fuel his muscles with one last boost. Now or never. 

Gray left conscious thought behind as he fell backwards and slid against the wet pavement sending his leg out, timed perfectly, knocking the crook off his feet. The thunder cracking as the bag hit the wet sidewalk. 

Graham rolled against the wet concrete, fingers clasping the broken bag, snatching it from the ground and pulling it towards his chest before the mugger could grab it. Doing a quick mental check of any injuries, all of which barely surface level, Gray looked up, predatory eyes locking onto the staggering criminal scrambling across the intersection. His eyes narrowed. 

It was only once the crook faded into the night when Gray came back to the world, a big grin on his face. He looked around at the few pedestrians filming the scene, a few cheers being let out. He moved his shoulder back and grinned wider. He stared at the bag in his hand, he felt amazing, more alive than he’s ever been before. But confusion took over, as Gray slowly got to a seating position. He stared at the brown bag. 

_How did he do that?_

“Thank you so much!” 

Grays head snapped to the waitress who was running towards him, broken strap in her hand as she offered to help him up. Gray smiled and took it, throwing his signature charisma on show. 

“I gotta admit, I was ready to chase him down myself, but damn was that impressive!” 

Gray smiled like it was no big deal. He could play this off. He knew how he did that, wasn’t as lost as everyone with their phones out filming currently were. Noooo. Absolutely not. He breathed in the scent of rain when he realised. 

He wasn’t even out of breath. 

_Fair’d income._

“No worries mate, Sorry about stealing your thunder though. I’m sure you would’ve taught him a lesson.” That earned a small laugh from the stranger as he passed the bag to her lightly grazed palms. Eagerly taking and sorting through it. 

“Oh you know it, but seriously, how did you do that?” 

The question struck true right through to Gray’s chest, because he wished he knew. He pulled that off perfectly. He was always considered an athletic kid in school, but that was school sport carnivals and this was- this was real life. Moves that required heavy training by only the best. His mind didn't even hesitate.  
The back of his mind says the thought is familiar, but he shoves it aside, barely registering it. 

She continued sorting through her bag, and when he didn’t reply, she took the questing look on his face the only way she knew how. 

“Just making sure nothing fell out” 

Gray’s wondering mind centered back to the world. 

“Ah, okay. Would you like me to call the cops for you? I’d be happy to wait if you need.” 

“No, No. That’s fine. I’ll call my girlfriend first. She’s always worried sick when I work the later shifts.”  
Gray smiled, “well she’ll be glad to know you’re okay. I’m Gray, Gray Arden, by the way.” He held out a hand for her to shake, which she tool gladly. 

“Livia Saunders.”

Gray took off before things could get awkward, only sticking around for the two or so people requesting photos with him. Which was a foreign concept to him, and they turned out horrible with the rain regardless. 

Gray nears his apartment, more spring in his step than before. He felt great. Better than ever before. _This was living._ He should be a stunt man or something. That way he’d get to do more of this kind of thing for a living. The thought was entertaining. 

When was the last time he felt like this? So free and comfortable without some cloud reining over him, his life. The last time he remembers… was the few precious moments with Carmen.  
The questions slither into his mind again. Why did she have such a hold on his mind? Why did she recognise him. He has no idea- no record of what the hell happened in his over year of missing memories, and she was his first- his only clue to stand a chance at piecing it together. To figure out what that something is. What is gone, missing. What teared his life to shreds. 

A boot hits a building wall before continuing down the street. Who even was he anymore? What so key, so fundamental to his life that he felt like this without it? And what did Carmen know? 

He enters his apartment building, up the stairs and into his flat, all cold and soaking wet. He looks out the window into the ocean of storm amongst the skies. He longs to be among the lightning. The question circles back to his mind. 

Can you truly miss something you’ve never known? 

Gray doesn’t have an answer. But thinks the word ‘miss’ has different meanings in different contexts.


	2. Chapter 1

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Gray has an encounter with two Agents who swear they've seen him before. In custody half way around the world, that is.

Gray’s walking down the street the next weekend to a grocery store when he notices them. 

Two people following him. 

Cops are ruled out immediately -they’re clearly not from around here. No one wears tan and navy blue suits in this heat at this time of the year and day, even in a cold city. Hell, he’s heating up in just a cotton shirt. He doesn’t recognise them, doesn’t know who they are, and as far as Gray’s concerned- never met them before. Not that he’d know anymore. A headache forms in the front of his mind and he grips his head. Between the dreams and the flashes and God knows what else- he shakes his head, teeth clenching as he continues on ignoring the pain. 

But Gray can’t ignore them, because he knows he’s just made three right turns around the block to see if they follow him, and the two of them have. He wished he could have believed he was innocent. 

Because he wasn’t. 

He doesn’t even know how it happened. One minute he was minding his business, next he bumped into someone, and then he walked off, only to realise their wallet was in his pocket. He looked for the person, only to see the bustling crowd, already moving on. In a moment of panic, he stuffed it into his bag and kept walking, swearing to drop in to the police later. For some reason of late, his body seems to be bypassing his mind, his actions bypassing conscious thought as if it were second nature. Maybe it was. 

Because he’s had his little flirt with theft before, something a little more than a passing phase as a teenager. He learned a few tricks and techniques to maximise efficiency and to not get caught. It was... his most recent memories before his blackout. Because the moral high ground had never been his. No, he wasn’t above a little payback when karma was lacking- but now he was on his feet somehow, and he wasn’t going to stoop so low again. 

So the knowledge that he somehow had this person’s wallet on him has his mind reeling with various existential fear filled questions. He doesn’t even remember wanting to steal it. It was like someone else was controlling his actions, some override in his brain already etched into the very fibre of his body. Learned, practiced and repeated perfectly each time. Except he hadn’t done any of that. But first the incident with the waitress, and now this. Both at opposite ends of the moral spectrum. The sun shone on his face, the sweat from more than just the hole in the ozone layer. 

He didn’t know what the fuck was happening to him. But he wants it to stop, to go back to his life without any crazy dreams or people following him. He wished the world would just leave him in peace. 

But the world doesn’t work like that. 

So he paces down the street, heart slightly elevated and breathing increased ever so slightly as his hand grips the strap of his bag a little tighter. He mightn’t have a fucking clue about anything anymore, but he knows two things

He unintentionally stole a wallet  
Two strangers are now following him 

He wouldn’t put money on coincidence. 

He strides around the next corner, the cool sea breeze presenting a welcome change as it blows in his face. They’re still behind him. 

Tired of walking and hoping this will go away, he walks over to the side of a little bakery and takes a seat at an empty table, his body thankful for the break. The sooner they get this inevitable conversation over with, the sooner he can get on with his day. Stalker. Free. 

Gray pretends to look at the variety of patisserie and breads on the menu all the while keeping track of the blue and tan suits in his peripheral vision. Unsurprisingly, they slow down as they approach him, and the taller one with the brown hair coughs. 

“Ahem.” 

Gray snaps his attention to them, the accent clear. The tall one with brown hair stood over him, chest puffed out and barely restrained anger on his face. The shorter one has short glossy black hair with glasses and a navy blue suit. Short was much more composed out of the duo, and looked much more analytical but open. 

Gray already wants this conversation to end. 

“Yeah mate? Everything alright?” 

Short took two steps forward, the tension in her shoulders well hidden, a stark contrast to her partner. “Hello, I’m Julia Argent and this is my Partner Chase Devineaux,” she pulled out her badge as Tall - Chase- fumbled for his. “ We work for the International Crime Prevention Department, or ICPD. We’d like to ask you a few questions if you wouldn’t mind.”

The bleak hope the two being tourists dribbled miserably away as Gray made a show of shrugging. The video of him from last week has gone semi-viral after all. He just had to play it cool, and pretend nothing happened. Throw them off their rhythm, whatever trail they thought they had on him. 

 

“Sure, what’s up?”

Short - Julia. Seemed slightly surprised at his response, and gave Chase an indecipherable look before she pulled out a small notebook.

“Three months ago, there was a robbery in Morocco, specifically a stolen diamond. Were you at all aware of this?” 

Gray furrowed his brows and gave them an incredulous look. “No... I wasn’t. Why?” 

“An unidentified man was arrested due to his alleged involvement in the stolen diamond previously mentioned, however the suspect was missing from his cell a day later.” 

“Okay... what does any of this have to do with me?”

Julia quickly glanced at a fuming Chase as doubt quickly flickered on her face. Gray mourned the loss of any chance of normality for the rest of the day. 

“We believe the man in question worked with a thief known as Miss Carmen Sandiego, whom we are currently trying to track. You wouldn’t happen to know of her, would you?”

Her name short circuited his brain. Carmen was definitely a thief of his heart and more than a mystery to him. But the Carmen they were discussing, surely couldn’t be the same Carmen he knew? He kicks himself internally for not getting a last name as his mind thinks back to the date she never attended, to the glimpse he saw of her before that bastard bus drove by. His heart hammered at the thought of it, his brain still can’t tell him if he really saw her that night at the cafe...or if was just his brain making things up. 

He desperately wanted to ask about Carmen, for a photo or _something_. Because maybe if she’s a thief moving on might be a little easier to bare. Because he missed her, but he never really got the chance to know her either. 

He wouldn't have even guessed if she were a world wide thief. 

He’s about to ask when he does a double take on the situation. He looks the two over in the morning sunlight filtering in from the east. 

Mrs Argent, while calm and collected, seemed too tense for someone just wanting to ask questions. Something in his brain told him she was too tense and relaxed simultaneously. He couldn’t quite stop his eyes narrowing as his mind solidified with one idea. 

She was either hiding something or wanting something. 

His eyes flicked quickly back to the murderous stare of her partner. He was standing behind her, a constant frown upon his face as he barely restrained himself from attacking Gray and taking over the situation at hand. Whatever conversation this is, Deavinaoux made it clear it wasn’t friendly. Gray had never seen this man before, he wondered what made this man hate him so determinedly . 

The sun peaks over the roofs of the city buildings, just skimming the top of Gray’s forehead. If strikes him as odd that after asking what this has to do with him, they mention someone different entirely. 

He doesn’t stop the drip of malice in his voice. 

“Again, I’ll ask. _What does this have to do with me?_ ” 

Gray doesn’t particularly feel bad at the hesitation and nervousness on Julia’s face. 

“The… unidentified male thief shares an uncanny resemblance to you, Mr Arden. Do you happen to have any siblings, cousins or other family members that look similar to you?” 

His eyes narrow. Like bullshit that’s the question they’re asking. He what? Became a thief during his blackout? With Carmen Sandiego?? It’s laughable, really. 

Because here’s the thing. Gray’s day already really sucked. He’s accidentally stolen a wallet after a sleepless night of memories? Flashbacks? Dreams? Nightmares? He didn’t know. And he certainly didn’t need two people harassing him about a crime he didn’t commit. He’s seen enough buddy cop shows to know they didn’t have any proof, otherwise they wouldn’t be here doing this. 

It’s with the last shred of patience in which he managed not to laugh or yell at them. He’s not sure which would happen. 

He takes a breathe in. 

“None that come to mind. Look, unless you have a photo, I can’t help you. I’ve never left Australia in my life. And I didn’t hear anything on the news about a stolen diamond in what was it? Morocco?” Gray pulled his bag over his shoulder and put the menu down, his mouth a grim line on his face. “So unless there’s anything urgent I’ll be one my way now.” 

Julia rushed forward, lightly grabbing Gray’s upper arm, causing him to turn to her. 

“Unfortunately all digital and paper records of the man in question were destroyed promptly after his escap-”

Chase cut her off, storming in front of Julia and grabbing Gray’s shoulders, haphazardly pulling Gray to face him before he turned away, Grays face going livid. 

“Stop playing dumb Monsieur Arden! I know who I arrested in Morocco. We saw you steal that wallet. Now tell me the truth about you and your contact with Miss Carmen Sandiego!”

Without a second’s hesitation, he snapped his shoulders out of the detectives graph, forcibly taking a step back. He drew his right foot behind him, widening his stance, his heart rate increasing. He wanted out of here yesterday. 

He narrowed his eyes at the detective in front of him, whose chest was puffed out and chin was up. As Gray cemented in his decision to leave he felt the onslaught of a headache forming in the back of his head, a wave of pain slowly etching its way up from the back of his head, slowing consuming his mind. He grit his teeth at the panic of what this meant. 

“You’re insane. I’m leaving, you have no idea-” 

Julia cut him off. “We know about your possible previous connection with VILE, and whether or not that is still currently undergoing is another question, however you cooperation would be appreciated-” 

Gray’s vision started flickering black and white, as nonsensical shapes and sounds coalesced in his mind. The hand on his bag tightened as he fought to clear his mind and focus on the situation at hand, only picking up bits and pieces of what was being said. 

“-den, are you alright-” 

Blast from the past eh? 

“-orks with VILE!-”

Villains International League of Evil 

“Both thieves, all of you-” 

Graduation was a game changer 

Gray ran a shaking hand through his hair, his eyelids pressed shut as he tried to breathe. The influx of images, emotions, memories, _whatever_ took over his brain. 

“I...I need to leave. Goodbye ” 

Gray ran off, becoming lost in the images in his mind, only barely registering Julia stopped Chase from following him down the street amidst his panic. 

Gray’s head was pounding, as reds, greens, and colours of all sorts flooded his mind. They moved in and out, until Gray didn’t know what was real and what wasn’t. He ran through the crowd on autopilot, wanting, needing somewhere to settle as his mind obscured itself. Sights and sounds were blurred at the edges, repeating themselves as they consumed his mind. 

None of these memories fit anywhere, and as Gray ran around the corner, he could've sworn he was somewhere else for a split second, with other shapes running along side him. Orange and green and dark blue and purple. Gray kept running as the blue sky around him turned black, not entirely sure where to be going, the pounding of his feet against the pavement the only steady sensation, the only steady stimuli his brain was processing. 

Then he briefly saw the entrance to a library and made a beeline entry through the building, not quite sure what he was trying to find as his vision clouded, desperate to get out of the public walkways. To get out of his own head. As he walked the world passed around him in a blur, as the sudden influx of images finally started slowing in frequency, but were no less prominent noise in his mind. 

He heard someone yell in his direction, but his mumbled response escaped his mind as he retreated further into an empty, closed off section of the library. He all but collapsed in a single couch, head in hands as he tried to get a wrangle on his thoughts, his eyes shut as he incoherently muttered to himself. 

Somewhere in the back of his mind something compelled him to write down all the other nonsense in his brain despite his shaking hands. 

He scrambled for a pen and the first thing he could write on - the back of a receipt. He scribbled down the thoughts as they entered his mind, one big game of word association. 

Vile   
Carmen Sandiego   
Thief   
Green   
Night   
School   
Origami   
Heist   
Morroco   
Carmen   
Tiger   
Sheep   
Carmen   
Crackle   
Evil   
Caught 

With each word written, the fogginess in his brain cleared bit by bit giving him more room to breathe, to take back a bit more control. 

Because as Gray sat by himself in the library, staring at his list he was left with more questions than answers. Because what he’d just seen, the kaleidoscope of images ripped apart and stitched incorrectly together had to be dreams. They had to be - there’s no way any of it was real. These images, they were almost like it was someone else’s life, a completely different person. A much more sinister version of him from a different reality. 

Gray runs his hand through his hair and lets out a ragged breath. He’s doesn’t know what _it_ , he doesn’t even know what those two ‘detectives’ were going on about, or what any of this had to do with Carmen. Or him. Or some stolen diamond in Morocco. 

He feels like he’s back in high school, hiding his panic attacks from everyone as he continues on the day exhausted. 

Gray resists the temptation to curl up in a ball only slightly, bringing one knee up to his chest and resting his head on it as he loosely wraps an arm around himself. All he wants are some damn answers but life just keeps him throwing more mysteries he really shouldn’t have to solve. 

He was an electrician for fucks sake. Not some Scooby-Doo gang member who was also a master thief which apparently worked with one VILE or Carmen sandiego! 

His mind wonders to the insane detective, who had been convinced it was him who was responsible for the stolen diamond. No, he knew once upon a time he might just agree to that, but that’s not who he was. Those images, sensations in his mind couldn’t be real. No matter how much it might seem- He, he wouldn’t...he’s not some...some world class super villain with super powers so something! 

The realisation dawns on him that he’s just a lonely, social lifeless electrician who’s just lost over an entire year of his life, with no explanation for what happened, or what is happening to him. 

How _pathetic._

He doesn’t even know’s what’s real anymore.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I've had this sitting in my drafts for a while. Figured I finally post it.

**Author's Note:**

> Okay, I hoped you enjoyed reading this fic, it's been sitting in my documents for a while now and I finally decided to post it. Also, I thought it was best to put here that I am Australian! So I threw in some slang there because why not?
> 
> If you can, please leave a comment, as I absolutely love reading them and promise to reply to as many as I can. Criticism is welcome, but please be constructive. Also note this fic is not beta'd. 
> 
> Any questions? Leave them below or come talk to me on tumblr @ml-cartoons 
> 
> Thanks for reading!


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